I say struggle in the main blog description above, but for the most part it's not like we are 17th or 18th century American frontier families, solely dependent on the land, hunting our own food, raising our own crops, generations in the same house and so on. I think we can all agree though, that while not quite as dramatic, we still do struggle. Like a lot of you my alarm goes off everyday between 4:30 and 5:30 everyday. Then its coffee and trying to get the news in. We pack the kids lunch, take the trash out and hit the door. We commute a half hour (at least), work 8-10 hours then maybe hit the gym on the way home. After that its cooking dinner, cleaning up, kids homework and baths, stories and the bedtime routine. Finally, after all that maybe we get 30 minutes to ourselves, showers, crash and repeat.
5 days of this and no wonder the weekends never feel long enough. Its a grind. And all of this is leaving out hobbies, maintaining relationships with friends or family, home projects that (still ) need to get done and kids activities. With all of that, how the hell does anyone "keep up with the Joneses"?
The thing is, we all have lists. At the top of those lists are all the things we HAVE to get done. After that, its all the things we want and things we want to get done. Now if you're anything like me, you consider yourself a DOER. In fact, for the most part the success of a given day for me is defined by "what did I get done today". Some days, everything goes according to plan, your rock the day and you sleep like a baby. And then there are lots of days, that end in disappointment in that regard.
Here's the problem. A lot of times, things get in the way our ability to get our things or get things done. It's more complicated than just go do or just go buy...there are elements that are (wait for it...) OUT OF OUR CONTROL. As men, we don't want to admit that we just can't always live up to expectations.
So what are we to do? What we really need, instead of just keeping up, is to figure how to enjoy what we have with the very little time we have. Its about quality gentlemen, not quantity (easy with the jokes).
I'd like to attribute such clarity to serendipitous inspiration, however the credit actually goes to my wife. You see, she's a Yogi. I don't frequent Yoga classes regularly but I'll go with her occasionally. One of the things you learn in Yoga is this idea that one should be present, be "in the moment", not to let you're mind wander to what's next on your list, what you need to do or what didn't get done today. It's about appreciating where you are at this very moment.
Now, being in the moment when you're sweating your nuts off in a hot room, with a dozen fit, "bendy" people is not what you'd call the most comfortable place to think with any clarity, however you do find that it's hard think about much else. Interestingly, I started noticing that I would experience this type of clarity in other activities. The one thing these types of experiences have in common is that they are short and intense moments where focus is an active practice. It's something that you can do purposefully.
Where am I going with this you ask? How does all of this, help me get my list checked off? Well, it doesn't. A lot of days we're not going to get it all done. But it doesn't make us failures. What we need to do is decide what's worth our time and be present in that act. Be in the moment, not worrying about what's next. We must choose to actively BE INTENSE. We must choose LIVE INTENSELY. We may not get everything on our lists done, we may not have all the stuff we want, but you know what? We will be good at the things we CHOOSE to do. We will appreciate the things we DO have. Mr. and Mrs. Jones be damned.
As for the rest of the things on our lists... We'll get right back on that tomorrow.
5 days of this and no wonder the weekends never feel long enough. Its a grind. And all of this is leaving out hobbies, maintaining relationships with friends or family, home projects that (still ) need to get done and kids activities. With all of that, how the hell does anyone "keep up with the Joneses"?
The thing is, we all have lists. At the top of those lists are all the things we HAVE to get done. After that, its all the things we want and things we want to get done. Now if you're anything like me, you consider yourself a DOER. In fact, for the most part the success of a given day for me is defined by "what did I get done today". Some days, everything goes according to plan, your rock the day and you sleep like a baby. And then there are lots of days, that end in disappointment in that regard.
Here's the problem. A lot of times, things get in the way our ability to get our things or get things done. It's more complicated than just go do or just go buy...there are elements that are (wait for it...) OUT OF OUR CONTROL. As men, we don't want to admit that we just can't always live up to expectations.
So what are we to do? What we really need, instead of just keeping up, is to figure how to enjoy what we have with the very little time we have. Its about quality gentlemen, not quantity (easy with the jokes).
I'd like to attribute such clarity to serendipitous inspiration, however the credit actually goes to my wife. You see, she's a Yogi. I don't frequent Yoga classes regularly but I'll go with her occasionally. One of the things you learn in Yoga is this idea that one should be present, be "in the moment", not to let you're mind wander to what's next on your list, what you need to do or what didn't get done today. It's about appreciating where you are at this very moment.
Now, being in the moment when you're sweating your nuts off in a hot room, with a dozen fit, "bendy" people is not what you'd call the most comfortable place to think with any clarity, however you do find that it's hard think about much else. Interestingly, I started noticing that I would experience this type of clarity in other activities. The one thing these types of experiences have in common is that they are short and intense moments where focus is an active practice. It's something that you can do purposefully.
Where am I going with this you ask? How does all of this, help me get my list checked off? Well, it doesn't. A lot of days we're not going to get it all done. But it doesn't make us failures. What we need to do is decide what's worth our time and be present in that act. Be in the moment, not worrying about what's next. We must choose to actively BE INTENSE. We must choose LIVE INTENSELY. We may not get everything on our lists done, we may not have all the stuff we want, but you know what? We will be good at the things we CHOOSE to do. We will appreciate the things we DO have. Mr. and Mrs. Jones be damned.
As for the rest of the things on our lists... We'll get right back on that tomorrow.